Here are a few things I have learned:
Know Your Guests
When hosting a dinner or party think about the personalities of your guests and your relationship with them. Are your guests a close group of friends or family who can gather casually for hours? Or are they new neighbors or business associates visiting for the first time who will require a bit more attention? The right mix of people is important too and I recommend inviting a least one person or couple to the table who "plays well with anyone". These folks are key to making your dinner party comfortable and will take some of the pressure off you when you excuse yourself to check on the roast.
In a formal setting or with a large group, I like to use place cards. Place cards eliminate that awkward moment when everyone is jockeying for a place to sit. It also gives some control over the flow of conversation and avoids one person taking the center seat and dominating the dinner conversation. Also, separate couples and if the "kids" are at the table, place them next to the older folks. This keeps things interesting for all.
Finally, beforehand, consider your guest's needs and plan accordingly. Be sensitive to guests with food allergies or preferences based on religion or culture.
Set the Mood
Now that you have the guest list figured out, you can move on to the fun part--setting the mood for your dinner or party. This is my favorite part! Start by planning a menu and consider a theme to go with it. Once that has been determined, think about the decorating, table setting, flowers and even your outfit. Your theme can be carried through all these elements and will work to create an event, not just a dinner. Again, this is the fun part.
Whether formal or casual, make sure your table looks fabulous! Everyone loves seeing a beautifully set table and it evokes good feelings about what is to come.
Some things to keep in mind:
Use color to tell the story. I usually pick a color based on my menu or theme. For example, I recently hosted a Tahitian themed dinner party and used a brightly colored pareo as inspiration for my table setting. The table was set with bamboo mats, bright orange napkins, green palm fronds and seashell napkin rings. It all told a story and created a memorable evening for all.
Let nature add interest and texture. Sea shells, fruit, pumpkins, leaves, tree branches, greens, herbs, wood planks and, of course, flowers offer a wealth of decorating ideas for your table. Most of these elements are right outside your door or at your local craft store.
When it comes to the table cover, be creative! Think of other common things that can take the place of or can be layered with a standard tablecloth. For example: scarves, flat rugs, antique bedspreads, craft paper, beach sarongs, burlap, bamboo or a bit of unhemmed linen or lace make a unique statement on your dining table. I also often use placements or chargers on top of a tablecloth to help set the stage. One of my new favorites in this category is the chalkboard placement. These are so much fun, can double as a place card and your guest can personalize them too!
"The Diva"--also known as The Centerpiece. This is the key element to your table setting and like any Diva, it should create a little drama. Or course, nothing beats a fabulous floral arrangement as a centerpiece, but keep in mind there are many other options available. Be creative and remember the theme.
For example, if you are setting the table for a spring celebration, consider the season and use bunnies (not real!), moss, tulips and eggs--all symbols of spring. If you are setting the table for Thanksgiving, use a hollowed out pumpkin with fresh flowers surrounded by leaves, gourds and a bit grapevine as your centerpiece.
Don't forget the candles! Candles are the easiest way to create a mood and dining experience for your guests. I like to mix tall candles with small votives that run the length of the table. This allows everyone at the table to bask in a warm glow, not just those in the middle.
Not to worry… If decorating is not your thing, keep it simple. Use a simple white linen tablecloth, light some candles and let the people add the color!
Flow Matters
Think about flow before your guests arrive for your dinner or party. This is really important. Nothing stops a party in its tracks like a clog at the front door. Set up stations of food and beverages and keep people moving. If the weather is nice, serve drinks and appetizers on the porch or deck. If not, consider drinks around the fire or in the kitchen while you prepare dinner. This is the warm up to the main event, so remember your theme and introduce it early.
I like to display the dinner menu in a picture frame on the table with the appetizers. This is a terrific conversation starter and gets a person excited about what lies ahead. If you are hosting a special event like an anniversary or engagement dinner, the framed menu can serve as a lovely keepsake. The guest of honor can take it home with them at the end of the evening.
Also, don't be afraid to include your guests in the dinner prep. It takes some of the burden off you and makes your guests feel like family. Ask your guests to help with something fun or easy like basting, stirring, adding garnish or using a hand held torch! (I recently served creme brûlée for dessert and my guests had a ball caramelizing the sugar topping!) Talk about fearless!!
When Hosting a Party--Invite More People Than You Want
This is my best advice for party giving. People like to be where the action is so when hosting a party, invite at least 25% more people than you really want to attend. At least 15% will decline and you will lose another few the day of the party. This will give you the perfect number of guests to make the party full without feeling overly crowded. No one wants to walk into a "dead" party. People add the fun and when entertaining, the old adage is true…"the more the merrier!"
Relax
The best advice I ever got about entertaining was to RELAX and have fun. If the hostess is enjoying herself, the guests will too!
For more table setting inspiration, check out Kim's "Table Settings" board on the Salmon-Casson, Ltd Pinterest page.
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